We spend time with someone… a few dates and we think we know them.

We know where they grew up, what they do for a living, if they have siblings. We likely ask what happened in their last relationship… or what they want out of life… and after a few dates, dinners, or weeks…. we think we know them. And then in a few more weeks or months, you realize YOU MISSED A LOT OF RED FLAGS. In fact, it’s as if you don’t even know them.

News Flash… you likely don’t.

Knowing about someone.. knowing facts about someone, like a resume… DOES NOT MEAN YOU KNOW THEM.

People tell you what you want to hear… AND YOU HEAR WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR.

We take things on face value and don’t probe or ask the deeper followup questions that give us understanding. AND THAT’S WHAT BITES US IN THE END.

WHO | WHAT | WHY | WHEN | WHERE | HOW

Those words will save you a ton of time and heartache.

Ask them to probe deeper and also to get someone OFF autopilot. Get them really thinking and communicating in the present.

REFLECTIONS QUESTIONS

Do you recognize when someone is tuned out or on autopilot?

What are some questions YOU can ask that would be a good pattern interrupt?